Follow Your Dreams
by Creek-n-Shit
Summary: Hi, my name is Tweek Tweak, and I'm in love with my best friend, but he's in love with Madison Silver. You've heard of the phrase "follow your dreams", but I'm here to make that saying a reality.
1. Part 1

Movies are bullshit.

TV shows are bullshit.

Books are bullshit.

No two best friends fall in love with each other effortlessly as it does in movies, TV shows, and books. No two best friends confess their deep, adoring feelings for each other and end up all lovely and cheerful in a cute fucking relationship. That's not how it works. It's never mutual when someone likes their best friend. And if it is mutual, it only fucks things up in the end because being friends again is too awkward when you've sucked their dick or had your tongue down their throat. It's just not right. It just isn't real.

I'm in love with my best friend. I have been since early middle school. He has no idea. Hell, he's still downright oblivious to the fact that I drool like an anime schoolgirl when I look at him for more than a few seconds. He doesn't know that I hug my pillows at night and pretend it's him. He doesn't know that my heart melts when he speaks my name. He doesn't know that he's the one on my mind when I touch myself at night. And a piece of me hopes it stays that way because, as I said, mutual romantic feelings between best friends just doesn't exist.

My name is Tweek Tweak, and I'm in love with my best friend.

The friend that walks me to all my classes because I'm too afraid to walk alone. The friend who's stature of 6'2" towers over my 5'1" body. The friend that I grew up playing "Spacemen" with. The friend who punched a kid square in the jaw after he called me a spaz. The friend who, by sophomore year, has a lip, septum, eyebrow, and countless ear piercings (the lobes being stretched to 00 size gauges). The friend who got his first tattoo at the age of 16 and now has numerous. The friend who has stuck by my side for the past eight years.

My name is Tweek Tweak, and I'm in love with my best friend, Craig Tucker.

I don't see why Craig has put up with me for all of these years. In seventh grade, I was sent to a mental institution for having an angry outburst in class which led to me pounding my head repeatedly against my desk and wanting to until my skull cracked or the desk broke, whichever came first. In our freshman year, I was sent to a rehabilitation center after I began using drugs to take away the pain (such as LSD, marijuana, cocaine, and occasionally heroin if I was feeling extra blue). Now, we're in our junior year of high school and I'm on five different medications (three I take daily, and two are "if needed"). And yet, Craig has stuck by me. I don't understand. I'm fucked up so severely in the head.

He doesn't agree with that, though. He still walks me to all of my classes because I'm too afraid to walk through the crowds unaccompanied. He still sits by me every day at lunch and lets me interlace my fingers with his when I'm on the verge of a panic attack or have been having a shitty day. He's made out to be this horrifying, colossal monster who will strangle anyone who does him wrong (don't get me wrong, he may actually do so) and has no heart whatsoever. However, they're all erroneous. If you're on his good side, he's the most caring person you'll ever encounter. He puts his friends before himself and will embrace you tight if you begin to cry.

This is why I love Craig Tucker.

This is why I hate Madison Silver.

…

I sat by Craig, along with Clyde, Token, and Kenny. I had my hand in Craig's like it is every morning before school. It's become a routine since the thought of school makes me want to break down and cry (mainly due to all of the noise and people). It was a coping mechanism and Craig didn't care because everybody knew that if they called us gay, Craig wouldn't hesitate to beat the shit out of them.

Token was trying to endeavor Clyde and Kenny's insufferable shouting in order to frantically study for an exam he had in math today. He has always been an AP student and put his schoolwork before anything and everything else. Everyone envied his flawless GPA and the high test scores he manages to achieve (even in AP and honors classes). One thing was for sure: he was one smart motherfucker. Or maybe just not a very big procrastinator.

All while Token was trying his best to study, Clyde and Kenny couldn't stop shrieking their inappropriate, dirty jokes. Despite us all now being seventeen years old, the two still have yet to lose their dull and dirty sense of humor. Craig and I didn't mind it much, though. We didn't talk too often and preferred to only listen in on their conversations and laugh along.

We were an odd group to look at; a nerd who does nothing but study, two boys who act like sex fanatics, an emotionally and mentally unstable kid who can't be away from his best friend for more than five minutes, and a punk kid who takes shit from not a single soul. Again, quite the odd group to see. But we were all content with each other, and that was all that mattered.

"Dude, did you see that new chick? Her name is Madison or Maddie or some shit. Whatever it is, she's fucking hot!" Kenny shouted to the point where nearly half of the cafeteria could hear. I really wish he knew how to control his volume.

"I heard about her, but I haven't seen her yet. What does she look like?" Clyde asked excitedly. Kenny's face lit up at the opportunity to describe a woman he found incredibly attractive.

"Man, you have no fucking idea! She's like a goddess or some shit. She curls her brown hair all wavy and stuff, her face is gorgeous, and don't get me started on her bod," Kenny raised and lowered his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

"Get started, boy," Clyde said.

"She could be a fucking porn star for all I know. Her thighs are thick as fuck, and the same goes for her ass. Curves in all the right places, I swear! Her tits have got to be at least double-D's, man. The best part of it is that she wears the sluttiest clothing every single day. I'm talking booty shorts and tank tops, too-tight blouses and skirts above mid-thigh, and heels that make her ass look," Kenny stopped to lick his finger and press it to his body while making a sizzling noise.

"We get it, fuckboys. You want to put your dick in her," Craig stopped Ken before he could go any further. God knows he could go on for ages on this shit.

"You bet your sweet ass I do," Clyde winked. Kenny's infatuated face was replaced with a scowled look.

"Excuse me, fine gentleman, but who said _you_ would be the one plowing her? She would obviously choose me over you, fuckface," Kenny argued. Clyde only rolled his eyes and shook his head, all with a cheeky smirk on his face. We then heard Ken say "Speak of the devil. Or God. Thank you, Jesus," Kenny pointed behind us and sure enough, a brunette wearing a black dress too tight for her and matching heels was standing not even ten feet away from our table talking to what was a few of her many friends I would assume. A whistle came from Clyde. I still don't understand how Token can focus on math when there's shit like this going down.

I have to confess, she was gorgeous. She was just as Kenny had described her. She was the definition of perfect. Flawless body, perfect hair, faultless face, everything. I'm gay, but even I have to admit that she was really fucking hot.

After what seemed like an eternity of staring at this girl, we had caught her attention. Once her gaze met ours, everyone quickly turned away, pretending they were never checking her out, although we were being quite obvious. However, me being the awkward fuck I am, kept staring. I wasn't interested in her, I was only trying to figure her out. It was when she began to walk towards us did I turn away and hurriedly tried joining in on my friends' discussion. My heart stopped when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Oh, hi," Madison giggled when I turned around shocked. I was stunned and didn't know how to reply. A simple "hi" would have sufficed for fucks sake. I turned to Craig and squeezed his hand, hoping he would know what to do. This only turned Madison's attention towards him. _Fuck_.

"Oh, hi to you, too. I uh- didn't see you there," she fake-stuttered flirtatiously. Already, I could tell that Craig was dumbfounded.

In the end, Madison (who goes by "Maddie") asked Craig if he wanted to catch a movie with her this weekend. He said yes without thinking, as he seemed to have completely forgotten about our plans to spend the weekend together as we always do. Instead, he's going to be spending it with some whore. That sounds overdramatic and immature, but it's true! He knows I can't stand to be away from him. It makes me feel worthless, unwanted, paranoid, etc.

I've learned to read people well after spending so much time in institutions. Believe me when I firmly say that Maddie is a _whore_.


	2. Part 2

Every day after school, Craig and I walk to the park we grew up playing at before we head home. Sometimes we sit on the swings, sometimes we climb on top of the monkey bars, and sometimes we just sit underneath the big playground. Whatever it may be, it's still the one thing I look forward to on school days.

Today was the same as it has been for the past four years. We said goodbye to Clyde, Token, and Kenny and made our way to the park. It wasn't a long walk as South Park was a small (and quiet) little mountain town. However, on my rough days, Craig carries me the whole walk there since he knows I no longer have any motivation to move.

Today was one of those days.

Craig walked a steady pace with my small body clinging on to him. He had his arms beneath me so I wouldn't fall while my arms were wrapped tightly around his neck. Every time he does this, I bury my face in his neck for comfort. I still don't understand why he does so much for me. I feel as if I ask too much of him, yet he is happy to do so (even if his facial expressions don't show it). This is just another small thing that he does that makes me love him more than I already do.

His walking began to slow until we came to a stop, alerting me that we've arrived at our destination. Neither of us have bothered to buy a car since everything in town is near each other. If we ever needed one, one of our parents (although at this point, my parents are his and his are mine) would be happy to lend us theirs. We didn't mind walking everywhere, especially me. I enjoyed the extra time I got to spend with Craig.

I reluctantly released myself from Craig's hold and was set down onto the pavement. Whenever he carried me, I felt as if I was flying because of how tall the kid is. I could never even lift him an inch off of the ground, even if I were to use all of my strength.

"Thank you," I said quietly. I always thanked him after he carries me.

"I tell you every time, Tweek. Don't thank me," Craig repeated what he has said every day he's carried me for the past four years. I can only look down and blush while a faint smile was painted across Craig's face. He only smiled when it was something that involved me.

Craig grabbed my arm gently and led me under the big playground that now sat above us. Craig sat down where as I lied on the ground of woodchips and put my head in his lap. I only did this when I was extra depressed and/or anxious but I don't think anyone could blame me for today. Craig's brow furrowed.

"What's the matter, Tweeky?" Craig asked while his fingers combed through my hair. My mood was boosted slightly when I heard him use my childhood nickname, but it only lasted for a brief moment.

"I dunno," I mumbled, burying my face further into Craig's ginormous jacket. That was a fib. I did know what was wrong.

Craig was going on a date with Maddie tomorrow night. I was going to be alone on a Saturday night for the first time in years. They would be holding hands and possibly even kissing while I'm alone drinking coffee and watching reruns of TV shows. I know I can't keep Craig all to myself but he's the only thing I have left. My parents do care but they never have time for me because they're always busy running the shop. Clyde and the guys care but not enough to hang out with me in their free time. It's not like people _don't_ care, it's just that people don't care _enough_.

Craig's only response was a soft sigh which would have been inaudible if I hadn't felt the vibrations through his body.

I would not allow myself to cry. Not today. Not in front of Craig.

I've cried in front of him before, and he has always been there to hold me and tell me nice things to make me feel better. But today was not the day for that. I couldn't put Craig in a bad mood when within twenty-four hours, he would be with the possible love of his life. But I can't help it because _he's_ the love of _my_ life. Pathetic to say the least, but it's only true.

"It's because of Maddie, isn't it?" I felt my stomach drop as he said her name. "I promise, Tweek, that I'll still put you first before anyone else. Are you okay with that?" He asked sincerely. I could only nod as tears began to fog my vision.

It wasn't necessarily the fact that I wouldn't be put first, but more that she'll get to have him instead of me. I can't stand the thought of them together. I can't stand the thought that I'll have to be in a wedding with Craig but I won't be the one sealing the deal with him. Instead, I'll be standing beside him and practically cheering him on. I don't want him and Maddie to start doing the things that we do. I don't want them to make me the third wheel. I want to be the one holding his hand and kissing him and going on cute, dumb dates. But she's going to take my place. Maybe I'm just being selfish. That has to be it.

We stayed in the same position for nearly an hour, letting a comfortable silence surround us before we had to go home. We walked to the point of the sidewalk where we would need to part ways. I looked up at Craig with swollen eyes, them saying my goodbyes for me since my voice would be too rough, but Craig couldn't have that. As soon as we made eye contact, he pulled me into a hug, engulfing me in his jacket that would've been at least three sizes too big for me.

He made the decision to carry me home.

…

Craig and Maddie hit it off. They talk every day now. In fact, she took my seat at breakfast and lunch. I have to sit to Craig's left now but he's too busy kissing Maddie and holding _her_ hand instead of mine. My mental health is even more fucked than it was before, and people have begun to notice.

Clyde and Token both asked me what was wrong the Monday after Craig and Maddie's date. All I did was break down crying as Clyde held me in a hug with Token rubbing my back. It was pathetic. Kenny has been giving me sympathetic stares which is unlike him. They can tell that I'm being neglected, just as I predicted. They've tried taking his place but it's just not the same, and they realized that not more than a day after they try. Then, Bebe came along.

Bebe's body filled out once we hit high school. I'm talking DD cup breasts, an ass any straight guy or gay girl drools over, and thick thighs. She's curvy in all the right places. Her hair is the same as it was in elementary school; bright blonde and curly. In all honesty, she can compare to Maddie. I think the only reason Maddie is seen as "hotter" is because she's the new girl. If their situations were switched, Bebe would be the new Maddie. She's gorgeous.

That's why when she came up to me at breakfast one day, I was taken back.

"Tweek, I need to talk to you," she grabbed my arm by surprise and pulled me to the senior hallway where no one was before school begun. Craig didn't even take notice.

"Wh- what do you want?" I stuttered, terrified I was going to get beaten up or something of the sort.

"Calm down, I'm not going to hurt you. In fact, I'm going to help you. I know you like Craig," as soon as she said those words, my heart dropped. _How did she know?_

"But how?" I blurted out. I said it louder than intentional.

"Keep your voice down, babe. I see the way you look at him. I see how sad you are now that she's fucking with that whore. What's her name? May? Mabel? Mackenzie?" Bebe listed names.

"Maddie," I assisted. "You don't like her?" I always assumed all popular chicks were friends.

"Hell no. Have you met her?! She's awful!" Bebe exclaimed with anger toning her voice. I flinched at her outburst but remembered she's mad at Maddie, not me.

"I want to help you," she said softly and sincerely.

"I- I don't understand," I admitted. Bebe sighed.

"I hate Maddie, you hate Maddie. Plus, you're in love with Craig," she wasn't wrong. "So, I say we make Craig fall for you instead of that slut," she finished, seeming impressed with her plan.

"Okay, but how?" I agreed to the plan. Anything to get Craig away from _her_. He falling for me will be a bonus.

"That's sort of why I need you. I know nothing about Craig beside the fact that he loves his guinea pig more than anything in the world."

I thought for a moment.

"I have these dreams. I do things that Craig likes. Maybe we can do what I dream about and then maybe he'll like me!" I began to get excited. Although, I should probably leave out the fact that most of said dreams were wet dreams. But nonetheless, Bebe's face lit up.

"I know they say you shouldn't change for people, but that's perfect and sounds like fun. But the first order of business: make him jealous."

"Uh, how do we do that?" I didn't know how I could ever make Craig _jealous_ of anyone.

"Maddie takes Craig away from you, I'll take you away from Craig. Tweek, I'm going to need you to be my best friend," she said it as if this were a proposal.

I said yes.


	3. Part 3

It seemed as if Craig dreaded walking me to my classes every day, as if he'd rather be with Maddie. I can slowly tell that we're drifting apart from each other after eight years of best friendship. Knowing this hurts more than knowing he doesn't like me in the same way I like him. I still wanted to be his friend, even if I couldn't date him.

My parents are nice people, although quiet. My father is normally busy running the shop, trying to keep up with tasks from customers to inventory since he refuses to hire any employees. He hasn't changed since I was in elementary school other than a few wrinkles that time puts on. Still cheerful, still respectful, still Richard Tweak.

My mother on the other hand, has changed a lot over the course of nearly a decade. First of all, she's developed a hefty tic. Or a habit. I don't know what to call these things anymore. Basically, she has an obsession with cleaning. Not a neat freak, I mean all she does is Windex every fucking thing. My house smells like a goddamn gas chamber or at least one that's been bleached out of its last life. Thankfully, we came to an agreement that she's not allowed in my room or else I might die from the Windex fumes. Besides, if she saw my room, I swear she would have a fucking heart attack. There are coffee mugs and cups scattered on my bedside table and floor, along with clothes and papers from school. It is not pretty. I know I shouldn't talk about my mom as if she's a spaz (takes one to know one), but it's pretty fucking ridiculous.

Aside from their troubles here and there, I love them. Especially when I came out to them as gay. It wasn't necessarily my idea either. The Asian girls that shipped Craig and I in elementary school came out for me. In fact, I didn't even know I was gay at that time until I developed a gigantic crush on my best friend. Thankfully, my parents were extremely accepting and even enjoy the idea of Craig and I as a couple. I agree.

Our family business worked well. We made enough money to pay our bills plus a little extra for fun shit and my medication. Our coffee shop was one of the few places where I felt safe and secure.

The main one was Craig's bedroom.

"What's wrong, Tweek?" my dad seems to ask me the same question every day after school (after I spent the rest of daylight with Craig). But today, I didn't.

"Nothin'" I replied every day. He handed me the coffee he makes me as always. But I knew it wasn't just nothing.

"You're here earlier than usual. Where's Craig?" a shock of what felt like lightning shot through my stomach. I was beginning to hate that name.

"With his girlfriend," I stated blandly. I turned to look up at my dad. His cheerful face turned into one of sadness and understanding. He knew what was happening.

"Don't let it get you down. It'll resolve itself," he reassured me. Thankfully, he was usually right.


	4. Part 4

Bebe and I went along with our plan. In fact, she seemed more than happy to help. She must really hate Maddie.

We all sat down at breakfast as we always did but today was different. Today, I sat next to Bebe instead of Craig.

"Woah, Bebe, what are you doing?" Kenny asked the moment she sat down. All she could do was smile and put her arm around me. I jumped a little before remembering what our plan was. Kenny raised an eyebrow at me, telling me to explain ourselves.

"Oh- uh- she's here because- AGH!" I couldn't explain myself. I didn't think this through.

"What he means is, we've become bestttt friends," Bebe dragged out the word "best" in order to get Craig's attention, and it seemed to work. His head bolted over to the two of us. I flinched when my eyes locked with his.

"What?" Craig asked in a deep and dark voice that could only be described as one that belongs to a horror film serial killer. It sent shivers down my spine.

"That's riiiight!" Bebe said in her cheery voice. "Tweek and I are best friends now!" I began to regret our plan more and more as the seconds ticked by and Bebe kept talking. Craig did nothing but scowl as he turned his attention back to Maddie. That was when I realized that our plan was working.

Everyone seemed to shrug off the fact that we have a new member in our group. Not to mention that the new member was one of the most attractive and popular girls in school. That seemed off to me but I wasn't going to question it.

Throughout breakfast (and during lunch), Bebe and I were touchy and close as planned. We held hands, sat close to each other, and talked a lot. She was actually a nice girl and we agreed to be friends once this whole thing rolled over.

This went on for the rest of the week.

…

Bebe pulled me to the hallway where we first talked during lunch. No one seemed to notice since Ken and Clyde were telling a very overdramatic story.

"We need to initiate the first operation. What is it? You said you had this, uh, dreams, right?" Bebe tried to remember a conversation we had not only a week ago.

"Yeah, that's right," I began to blush deeply, remembering the dreams. Bebe took notice and gave me a confused look.

"Okay… are you going to tell me what it was?" Bebe asked slowly. I thought back to the dream, trying to remember the key-point.

 _'_ _Craig's lips made their way towards mine slowly. Slower than I'd wish. I could feel his warm breath on the lower half of my face as he inched closer. It smelt of spearmint and coffee. All of a sudden, I was in love with the smell. Finally, after what felt like hours, our lips brush against each other's. Our lip rings touched (mine was on my right and his on his left), making a small clinking noise that resulted in us chuckling before things began to heat up once again._

 _He pushed his hovering body onto mine, including his lips. His big hands made their way to my neck and blushing cheek in order to pull me closer and into a deeper kiss. Soon enough, I could feel the cold metal pierced into our lips heat up with our body temperature surrounding them. I couldn't help but grab onto Craig as well, except my hands went for his waist and chest. I snuck one of the hands up Craig's shirt, making him jolt a little at my cold touch of my cold, boney fingers but soon melted into the arousing feeling. I moved my hand lightly up his body, pleased with what I felt. My other hand was still on his waist, pulling his body closer down to mine. We grinded against each other as we made out roughly yet passionately. A heat began to spread throughout my lower stomach as-'_

"Right! He- uh, liked the piercings I had," I explained. Bebe's face lit up.

Perfect! We just need to go to a piercing parlor and-,"

"I can't pierce my face oh my god why would I do that I can't do that-," Bebe put her hands on my shoulders.

"How much do you love him?" she asked in all seriousness. My world stopped for a moment.

"A lot,"

"Then you're getting piercings. Understood?" I nodded quickly, hoping to not upset her. I could only imagine what she would do when she's upset. "Great, then let's go," Bebe began to drag me to the school parking lot.

"Wait, now?!" I exclaimed louder than I'd like to admit.

"Yes, now. We have to get this show on the road!" Bebe began to walk faster, which meant I walked faster, too.

We got to the piercing parlor after it was decided (not by me of course) to ditch school. My heart was beating out of my chest and I felt like screaming. _What the fuck was I doing?_

"Tweek," Bebe nudged my arm. It was only now that I noticed we were at the front desk and the tattooed man was asking what we wanted. I was lost. I didn't even want to be here in the first place and yet here I am, standing in front of a man with a pink Mohawk and endless tattoos with multiple piercings. He kind of reminded me of Craig.

"Oh, uh- I don't know," I looked up at Bebe like a lost puppy. I had no idea what I wanted. There were so many options: eyebrow, septum, lip, nose, ear, snake bites, spider bites, oh god what do I choose?!

"Ugh, just give him a lip and eyebrow piercing," Bebe mindlessly decided. I'm only now coming to my senses and am realizing what is happening. The man nodded and led us to a room with a seat obviously meant for the customer and a few extras for "moral supporters".

"I can't do this," I whispered.

"Yes you can. Remember, it's for Craig," she reassured me. I sat down in the seat and watched as the man sterilized the needles and piercings. I felt like I was going to have a fucking heart attack.

"What sides do you want these on?" the man asked. I thought back to my dream, trying to remember which side the lip piercing was. However, I've thought about said dream so many times that it felt like second nature.

"Uh- the lip piercing on the right and the eyebrow on the left," I said surprisingly steadily. The man nodded and lifted a needle up to pierce my lip first. Panic filled my body until I felt a hand grip my freezing one that was clenching the arm of the chair. I imagined it was Craig's and immediately calmed down.

I felt the needle penetrate my lip but held still. Soon enough, I had a lip piercing. The same situation went down with the eyebrow and I was already beginning to transform into someone completely new.

Someone Craig would hopefully come to love.

And someone my parents will hopefully not disown.


	5. Part 5

Craig took attention to my piercings and said he really liked them. A lot. That was the first time in what felt like forever that he acknowledged me and not his girlfriend.

I walked to the park alone after school as I had for the past two weeks. It was rainy and cold but I didn't care. Craig loved Maddie and not me. At least the rain would conceal the hot tears that continuously ran down my face. I watched my feet as they stepped in the small puddles that built up on the sidewalk, dampening my shoes. Again, I didn't care.

I finally made it to the park. I was freezing under my light jacket and my nose was beginning to run from the low temperature. My tongue played with the ring that was looped around my lip as I tried to forget about the cold.

As soon as I sat under the playground that Craig and I sat under a few weeks ago, I began to cry. I tugged at my hair and bit at my nails, causing some to bleed even. I was a mess. I didn't want him to love her. I wanted him to love _me._

I cried and cried for what felt like hours until I felt someone sit down next to me. I jolted and looked up at who was next to me. Through my tears that created a fog-like effect, I made out a blue hat and jacket and a huge stature. I knew that shape all too well and buried my face in my arms and knees again, basically in a fetal position. I didn't want him to see me like this. He didn't care. I shouldn't care, but I do.

Craig's arm wrapped around my small body and pulled me close to his. Immediately, his body heat began to transfer to mine and I began to calm down in his embrace. I would be lying if I said I didn't fall asleep on and off again in Craig's lap. I didn't understand why he was doing this, but at the moment, I didn't care. I missed this.

We stayed like this until the sun began to set below the horizon. If Craig wasn't here, I would have just stayed the night at the park. Instead, he carried me the whole way home, just like he used to do.

When we finally arrived at my house, Craig set me down on the porch and tilted my head up so we were looking at each other, eye to eye. All I wanted to do was begin sobbing again.

"Do you want me to leave?" he whispered. His voice was stiff, but not in an angry way. It was as if he was upset. As if he had been holding back tears this entire evening.

"No, I really don't," I whispered back. I could've sworn he was going to kiss me but he only brought me into another hug. It was good enough for me. I haven't gotten this much affection in weeks. He picked me up again and we headed up to my room. He knew my house by heart.

He set me down on my bed and got in with me. He brought the covers over us and pulled me into another hug. Well, I guess now you could say we were cuddling. I inhaled deeply, smelling Craig. Spearmint and coffee.

This is what I wanted every night. I wanted to fall asleep in his arms and listen to his heartbeat as I drifted off. I wanted him to rub my back as I shook from anxiety. Hell, I would do anything for him to be able to fall asleep next to me every single night.

I fell asleep with my heart beating out of my chest.

…

I woke up the next morning to find that Craig had disappeared. For a short moment, I considered the thought that I had made it all up. But I knew I didn't. It did seem like a Tweek thing to do but it felt all too real. Plus, my blankets still smelled like him. I hated that he was gone. It didn't help that at school, Craig pretended as if nothing ever happened. That's something that stung.

However, Bebe and I were back at our act and were beginning to talk about our second order of operation. My second dream.

We were back in the usual hallway, discussing the plan.

"So what's another dream you had with Craig where he liked you?" Bebe asked, excited to hear the answer. I blushed deeply as I had a few days prior.

' _-the hand Craig had on my cheek moved down my body. First, he caressed my neck, making me squirm a little. Then, it when down to my chest where he felt the top of my jet black shirt, but I could tell he didn't want it there. He removed his other hand from my neck and pulled the dark shirt over my head, unfortunately breaking the kiss. I was now left shirtless with Craig straddling me fully clothed._

 _"_ _Well that's not fair, is it?" I smirked. I leaned up and quickly tore Craig's shirt (that looked nearly the same as mine) off his body. Before we were back to our heated make out session, I had the chance to look up and down his body, and I liked what I saw. He was toned, smooth, and perfect in every way possible._

 _This was all interrupted when I felt a pair of lips land on mine, our jewelry again clinking together. Only this time, we didn't laugh. We were too caught up in the moment of lust and romance. My jeans began to grow tight, tighter than they usually would when I got awkward erections in class when I would think about Craig. This was because I was wearing skinny jeans at least two sizes too small than my actual size (which I thought was impossible considering how small I am already). The pain of the tightness against my crotch became unbearable when Craig grinding against it with his own tight skinny jeans (tighter around the crotch area might I say)._

 _We pulled away from the intense kiss and looked into each other's eyes. We both knew we wanted this, and we both knew we wanted it now. Craig began sucking my neck, making me moan in pleasure. At the same time he was surely leaving red and purple marks on the sensitive skin, he began to undo my seatbelt "_ _The Nightmare Before Christmas_ _" belt, then the button securing the pants, and finally slid down the zipper. I was so close to freedom from this painful hell that was occurring down south. Craig's large fingers slid into the waistband of both my skinny jeans and boxer briefs and began to pull them down, and finally felt a release. One of his hands immediately grabbed my-'_

"Uh- I was wearing emo-ish clothes from like Hot Topic or something. Skinny jeans and a black shirt of some kind," I explained quickly. I could already tell I was going to be uncomfortable in skin-tight clothing. I wanted to know how Craig managed to do it every day. I've been forced to wear skinny jeans before for a school play and it felt like hell.

"Looks like we're ditching again. Off to the mall we go!" Bebe exclaimed loudly as she once again led me out of the school and to her car. _Why do I keep letting this happen?_

…

"Bebe, I don't think this fits," I mumbled once I walked out of the dressing room in skin tight jeans and a band shirt just as tight. I felt as if I was in a straightjacket.

"No, no, they look good! Trust me, Craig will like them," Bebe reassured me. I have to trust her on this. "Oh also, nice ass!" she shouted for everyone to hear. I sprinted to the dressing room once again, hiding my shame. However, I have been told multiple times I have a nice ass. Maybe Craig will notice this, too.


	6. Part 6

I walked into school the next day with all eyes on me. I was wearing the same clothes I had tried on in the store and was just as uncomfortable. Everyone's eyes were also on me which was very unsettling and was an example of a time where I would need Craig but he was busy with someone else. It felt terrible. I couldn't tell if they were amazed or disgusted.

I finally made it (after what felt like an endless journey) to our gang's table and sat down next to where Bebe was already sitting.

"Looking good," she whispered a little too loudly. I blushed and hid my face behind my hair, not wanting to see everyone's reactions.

"Damnnnnn, Tweekers! I never noticed how good of an ass you've got. I'd tap that," Kenny stated. I looked up to see everyone staring at me. Apparently my new look was more drastic than I had thought.

"I second that. You look… well… hot! Damn, boy," Clyde jumped in as he looked me up and down. I didn't know someone's face could get so hot. I briefly looked over at Craig from the corner of my eye and saw him staring as well, dumbfounded. It seemed as if everyone dug my new style. Everyone except Maddie. She looked pissed that her boyfriend was practically drooling over someone else.

"Craig!" Maddie shouted in a high pitch that made Bebe and I flinch. We all turned to the couple to see Maddie giving Craig a death-stare.

"What? I can't even look at other people now?" Craig exclaimed angrily before storming off to what I would assume was the restrooms. I should have been glad that they were fighting, but I hated to see Craig upset like that. However, Bebe was beyond satisfied with our results. But we weren't done yet.

"Jesus, what the fuck is his problem?" Kenny perked up once again. We all shrugged besides Maddie. She was fuming. After a few moments, she decided to abandon the table, leaving the five of us.

"My new- uh- look I guess you could say has s-some interesting reactions, wouldn't you say?" I decided to speak up. Everyone nodded awkwardly after experiencing an uncomfortable argument between the star couple.

…

A few days after the argument incident and things have seemed to settle down between the two. They were back to sitting next to each other and holding hands and kissing. All the things I wanted to do with him. I continue to talk about wanting to be her but it's true! It's all I wish for.

I sat on my bed, leaning against the headboard and rocking my shaking body back and forth, listening to the pounding rain. It was 2:00AM and I was awaken by a panic attack not only a few minutes prior to now. I took my meds but I didn't know what else to do. They never seemed to work and (surprisingly), I haven't had a panic attack since Maddie and Craig got together. Now, I didn't know what to do. Do I just suffer and wait for it to pass? Do I call Craig like I used to and let him help me? I chose the latter.

I clicked speed-dial and held my phone to my ear as I listened to the rings. It only took two of them before he picked up. I felt bad for waking him up at this hour but it was all I could do.

"M'ello?" a groggy voice spoke from the other end of the line. This made me miss our late night talks.

"I'm really sorry for waking you up I'm sorry but I'm having a panic attack and don't know what to do. My meds don't work and I'm shaking and I need help," tears were now brimming my eyes and the image of my Christmas-light lit room became cloudy.

"Give me five minutes," was all I heard before the line went dead. However, I knew exactly what he meant. I sat there shaking and crying my eyes out. I felt like I was dying. Maybe I was dying. I couldn't tell the fucking difference. Everything felt so surreal and scary.

Five minutes later, my phone lit up.

 _Craig: Let me in._

I bolted from my bed, down the stairs, and to the front door. Quietly that is as to not wake my parents up. I felt bad enough for have waking up Craig.

I opened the door slowly since I knew it was known for creaking. There stood a very wet Craig at my doorstep at two in the morning. We locked eyes for a moment before he pulled me into a hug. I began to cry harder. I was afraid and I missed Craig. We rarely talked anymore since Maddie came into play. He rubbed my back as I buried my face into his wet jacket, soaking it more than it already was.

After a few minutes, I felt myself being lifted off the ground. It took me a moment before I realized Craig was picking me up bridal style. I began to blush but hoped it was hidden behind the darkness and my tears. He began to carry me up the stairs and back into my room. I was already beginning to calm down.

He set me down gently on my bed and got in with me. He pulled my comforter over us and pulled me close to him so my head was nestled in his jacket. It didn't even bother me that his clothes were soaked. All that mattered was that he was here with me. I finally calmed down enough to sleep. Right before I fell unconscious, I felt Craig press a kiss to my forehead. I fell asleep with a smile on my face for the first time in weeks.

…

The next morning, Craig had disappeared yet again. It wasn't much of a surprise at this point. I dreadfully got ready for school when I noticed a note on my desk.

 _Tweek,_

 _Know that I still care. Maddie is overprotective. Don't let her know about how close we are. I don't think she'd like that. I still love you, Tweeky._

 _-Craig._

I knew he was sincere. The note was too cheesy for someone that serious to write, so I knew he had to be serious. However, I was still upset that he seemed to care and choose Maddie over me. Nonetheless, he still cared, and now I knew that.


End file.
